Arrrghhh, doesn’t it make your blood boil when you find certain items missing from their designated spot, or your shampoo bottle half-empty, or having to do someone else’s dishes? No, you’re not overreacting – it’s totally normal to feel annoyed with your roomi. It isn’t easy to live with someone, but it’s easier to try to make someone understand what’s getting on your nerves, than to beat the crap out of them (JK don’t try this at home).
Here’s how to renegotiate your terms with your roomi instead of pulling your hair out in frustration.
They eat your food without permission
So you’ve been dreaming about that croissant that you left in the oven before leaving for work. You come home to find it missing, and it turns out your roommate ate it because they were hungry.
What to do: Get some food first, it’s never a good idea to confront when you’re hangry. Try to have a relaxed conversation later, and tell them that they need to check with you before eating so you can plan and get something else ready for a snack/dinner.
Their messiness has left the room and now has possessed your living area
You are meticulous and organized while your roomi is a moving mess. They leave their stuff in every room they go – gosh, someone could even tell what they did the whole day by just tracking their trail of mess.
What to do: Try to bring this up in the least confrontational way possible. Try to tell them that you’re uncomfortable working in the living area because their dirty laundry takes up all the space. If talking it out fails, try giving them a taste of their own medicine – leave dirty dishes in the sink or your stuff on their bed. When they confront you, tell them why you did that and how it affects you when they do the same.
Their passive-aggressive game is strong
Your roommate is awfully silent and doesn’t participate in fun stuff/conversations like they used to. You can often see their eyes roll back into their head each time you’re around.
What to do: Never treat passive-aggressiveness with more passive-aggressiveness. Strike a casual conversation, walk into the room nonchalantly and ask them – “Hey I noticed that you’re not talking properly to me, did I do something to upset you?” or “Hey I noticed you’ve been putting my stuff on the shelf – I’ll be more mindful of that if that’s bothering you.” If they don’t want to talk about it – that’s totally their wish, but you bringing it up will help clear the air little.
They are smoking or drinking all the freakin’ time
You don’t mind them smoking or drinking, but they know it’s your term exam tomorrow, yet they are drinking and planning to throw a party.
What to do: Tell your roommate that you need to study, and their lifestyle is affecting not just them but you too. Council them, and let them know you’re there to talk things through if they’re going through a difficult time.
They are self-centered and inconsiderate.
They will do what they want to do – watch TV on loud, eat your food, refuse to split the money for house supplies equally, and continue to deplete your brain cells and cosmetics. You’ve tried to talk, ask for help, asked them to be supportive, and even decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. Yet they fall back to their old ways.
What to do: It’s best to tell them that you two are not meant to be roomis. And that they should find a new compatible roommate. It’s better than being frustrated and annoyed all the time.