Sometimes your roommate-and as a result, your roommate problems- comes as a package deal. Maybe they have an untrained pet. Or maybe they have a partner who refuses to leave your apartment! So, you can look past the hand-holding on the sofa, the odd lover’s tiff and even the sickly baby names. But, what do you do if you really, really don’t like your roommate’s partner?! How do you deal with your roommates (and their partners) then?!
Your living situation can become even more uncomfortable if your roommate’s partner never leaves, and when you’re feeling like an unwanted third wheel in your own apartment, it’s time to address the romantic issue in front of you.
I don’t like my roommate’s partner cuz they’re annoying
Do you feel irritated because you’re forking out for NYC-tier rent every month and they pay nothing to share your tiny space? Is it because they’re taking long showers every morning and making you late for your (already painful) commute? Or is it something more specific that you don’t like about your roommate’s partner?
The more generalized issues – like they’re around all the time, taking your share of the hot water – can usually be solved with a chat with your roommate. These are pretty common roommate problems that shouldn’t be too hard to fix. Approach the issue when the S.O isn’t in the house and try to gently set some boundaries. Talk about how many nights per week you’re comfortable with them being around, and discuss a morning schedule so you can use the bathroom when you need it. Initiating talking to your roommate can be hard. Just tell them that you’re on a tight budget and can’t afford to pay the extra electricity bill each month. and that your boss gets annoyed when you’re late for work, you should be able to come to an agreement. You should deal with your roommate’s partner the way you deal with your roommates who are inconsiderate!
I don’t like my roommate’s partner because they make me uneasy
isabellekinza told Reddit about the problems she was having with her roommate’s partner:
“My roommate went home for a couple of weeks for the summer. But he didn’t leave. In fact, he basically moved in. And this guy makes me uncomfortable. He doesn’t make passes at me or anything, in fact apart from casual greetings we don’t talk, but his presence makes me uncomfortable.
I’m generally a loud and blunt person, but put me in a room with him and I clam up. Which is how I allowed him to berate me for leaving dishes in the sink (for less than a day). Then he told me I wasn’t cleaning up after myself enough. Which was ironic since the mess he was complaining about was his. I argued weakly but my spine crumbles around him so I angrily cleaned the mess.
Then here comes the kicker. Right before my roommate got back the internet stopped working. I couldn’t log in, and my first thought was that he’d tampered with it since the internet is in his name and me and my roommate pay him in cash for it. I put that thought down to petty vindictiveness on my part.
So, this morning, I messaged him. It takes me five minutes to word it nicely in a non accusatory way, and I send it. An hour later he replies saying that he changed the password because I didn’t pay him.”
It can be tempting to treat your roommate’s partner with hostility or passive-aggressiveness in times like this, but that usually just worsens the situation. Dealing with this kind of roommate problems can be a little more tricky.
So, how do you deal with your roommates now?
Again, you could talk to your roommate about how you’re feeling. They may be blissfully unaware of the issue in their home, their judgement clouded by a rosy veil of love! In all likelihood, your roommate’s partner isn’t intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable. So, just talk to them!
If that doesn’t work, it’s time to contact your landlord. There could be terms in your contract that specify the number of guests you can have over at a time. And your roommate’s partner overstaying their welcome could technically present a hazard.
The city administrative code says that every individual living in a residential building should have “a livable area of not less than 80 square feet”. There is no state/city law in place that requires renters to tell their landlords about visitors. But it’s still worth checking your lease agreement. Some individual landlords add guest-related clauses that could work in your favor. While ideally you should deal with your roommate’s partner by communicating with them directly. But sometimes it’s just not possible to deal with your roommate problems this way. Speaking with your landlord is the only way to deal with your roommates.
Make your landlord aware of the issue to discuss your options. If they can’t do anything about your roommate’s partner, then it might be time to look for a new place. There are thousands of great potential roommates out there. The most important thing is that you feel safe and happy in your own home!
D’you know what else Roomi does outside of helping its readers deal with their roommate’s partner? With our ever-increasing lists of rooms and roommates across the world, we help you find your perfect match! Download the app here and hop on the easiest ride home, ever!