So you got stuck living with your ex because of the pandemic and quarantine, but now you are kinda tolerating each other? Or maybe you just can’t find someone else or are too lazy to start the hunt. You find yourself relating to all ‘living with your ex’ memes, and have accepted the situation as it is. Maybe you even secretly like it (No judgment here.) You’re happy to be able to stalk them in real life instead of the gram. And maybe you’ve put all the best rules for living with your ex in place and have found success in cohabitating with your ex.
But wait, does that mean you should continue? If there’s a doubt, it’s time for you to get to the bottom of it. Let’s examine whether or not you should continue living with your ex and how to go about cohabiting with your ex peacefully if you choose to say yes.
Is it possible to live with your ex?
It’s like the age-old argument of whether or not people from the opposite sex can be ‘just friends’ or whether or not a person can stay friends with an ex. Ultimately, it’s all about the two of you and the dynamic you share.
No one outside your bubble can tell you how things would go for you. So our suggestion is to understand what goes on between you and your ex. Evaluate how you feel around them, and maybe try and gauge how they feel around you. After all, home is where your heart is. And if yours or your ex’s heart is broken, the home will be as broken too.
Should you consider living with your ex?
If you’re considering this question, you probably shouldn’t be (living with your ex). But who are we to judge? Nick and Jess lived perfectly fine (sort of) after breaking up? Um, we shouldn’t have said that at all.
On a serious non-sitcom note, if being around your ex is damaging your mental health, and stopping you from moving on, then it’s probably not a good idea. Any negative feelings that might show up when they’re around are to be acknowledged. It will help you answer the question of whether or not you should be living with your ex.
Rules for living with your ex
Just like you need rules for living with the opposite sex, so you don’t drive each other crazy, you need solid rules in place for living with your ex. We didn’t mean to rhyme. But well.
So what are these rules you need to have in place?
1. Don’t try to listen through the walls
Yeah, it’s weird. So please don’t do it. If they’re talking on the phone, don’t try and stand close to the wall or the door and listen in. It’s not going to do any of you any good. So do what you’d do when living with roommates other than ex-lovers. Plug your earphones in when they get loud with their conversations because spiteful exes might try to pull that off just to annoy you.
2. Don’t make it weird by avoiding them
It’s natural to not want to make eye contact and stay shut in your room after you’ve broken up when cohabiting with your ex, who is in the living room right next to your door. But if you’ve considered living with your ex, you have to do things differently. Otherwise, you and your ex both are better off (living) alone.
So try going back to normal living in the house, except the coochie coo, and things won’t even feel much different, or awkward in the first place.
3. Don’t force them to have a conversation
It might feel a bit too awkward when you both sit silently far apart on the couch watching TV. But live with it. It’ll get normal sooner than later. Don’t try to force each other to talk just because it’s awkward. If it gets too much, head back to your room for some alone time, just like you would in any other roommate situation.
4. Set boundaries with each other
This one’s super important if you’re planning on cohabiting with your ex! If you and your ex are emotionally and mentally healthy enough to decide on staying together, then this is the easiest part!
Just have a conversation about what the boundaries are. Are you allowed to pass snide comments on the other person’s date? (Yes, it’s eventually going to happen, whether you like it or not.) Are you still allowed to enter the bathroom while they’re taking a shower? Talk about EVERYTHING.
In the end, it’s all about how cohabiting with your ex goes in the near future. If you’re not sure but really want to give it a try, do it. But if you can’t seem to after all trials and errors, go ahead and find your next soul (room) mate!