Help! My Roommate Isn’t Talking To Me!

Upset woman staring into the distance with her friend looking at her

A scornful look, the silent treatment, and passive-aggressive responses? Yep! Your roommate is definitely pissed and is probably drifting from you emotionally. Perhaps you were once best of friends – two peas in a pod. But something has changed, and now your roommate is refusing to even talk to you. If you’re wondering what changed, here’s a list of things that could be causing those problems with your roommates.

6 Common Problems With Roommates & Their Solution

1. Your behavior is inappropriate

Maybe the reason your roommate isn’t talking to you is because of the inappropriate comments you pass casually, without even realizing you’re doing it. Perhaps you made some racist remarks, or made comments about their sexuality, or made fun of them/the things they do. Even if you meant no harm, chances are that your roommate is hurt or upset with your behavior. Ask them what’s bothering them and why are they being cold towards you. If you ask sincerely, your roommate will open up. Respect their feelings and make amends.

Related: A Guide to Shared Living: Getting Along with Your Housemates and Accepting Their Habits

2. One of the most common roommate problems – You owe them MONEY!

Did your roommate lend you money that you haven’t returned yet? Are they paying for your share of groceries/food or bills? Think hard! If there have been such instances, then your roommate’s behavior towards you is justified. Most roommate troubles are centered on the unequal distribution of chores and money. Clear debts with your roommate, and always keep a tab, especially when your roommate is covering for you. Nobody likes a person who forgets to pay up.

Related: The Ultimate Way To Divide Chores While Keeping All Harmony Intact

3. Your roommate is introverted

Your roommate could be a shy and quiet person who likes to read more and talk less. It’s in their nature, buddy – you can’t hold it against them. Give them time and space to open up to you, and by no means try to force a conversation on them. It will only make things worse.

4. Another one of the most common roommate problems: You owe them an apology!

You had a crazy fight with your roommate last week, and ever since, they’ve been giving you the silent treatment. If your half-hearted apology hasn’t sorted this situation, maybe it’s time to sit like adults and talk about what’s bothering each of you. If they’re acting like a big old baby, take the initiative to start this discussion. Nobody likes a cold environment at home * shudders *.

5. Your roommate is going through something personal

If you’re an overthinker, you probably might be beating yourself up thinking – Why is my roommate not talking to me? What did I do now? It could be that you’ve done nothing wrong, and the issue lies somewhere else entirely! Perhaps they’re having a bad day, difficulties at work, are going through family or relationship strains. While you guys are thick and always discuss your problems, this time, they’re not ready to talk about it (at least not right now). Give them their space and tell them that you’re there for them whenever they’re ready.

Related: How to Live with Roommates In The Age of Coronavirus

6. Maybe the real roommate problem is that they don’t like you

This might sting (a lot!), but hey, their behavior doesn’t define you. Your roommate may have suddenly decided that you two have nothing in common and perhaps shouldn’t talk. There could be plenty of reasons for this and, if this behavior seems unresolved after many conversations, it’s time to find your soul roommate! You’re an awesome individual, and no one can take that away from you.

Roomi advise for problems with roommates

It’s natural to fight with roommates or to be in disagreement with them. However, to keep your house warm, lively, and away from negativity – promote the culture of open dialog. Set this culture from the beginning and always follow good roommate etiquette to coexist peacefully with everyone.

D’you know what else Roomi does outside of helping its readers with solutions for their roommate problems? With our ever-increasing lists of rooms and roommates across the world, we help you find your perfect match!